I am in the middle of a very frustrating week at my day job as I am writing this post. (Which is 2/27/13 – I try and have two or three posts in the hopper before I review and enter any particular blog post for all the world to see. Just so you know. J)
I can’t share many details due to confidentiality issues, nor would I want to for my own personal integrity reasons. What I can say is having a job in workers’ compensation insurance claims is by nature hectic, fast-paced, and often stressful. You deal with people who are injured or sick (once in a while pretending they are injured or sick), their money, employers, their money, doctors, their money, ancillary medical providers, their money, attorneys, their money, just to name a few of the many parties, and their money, attached to any particular claim or employer account.
See this story my manager once forwarded to we adjusters at the office: http://www.thedailyquarterly.com/articles/2011/12/11/daniel-day-lewis-backs-out-of-film-about-insurance-adjuster-after-spending-five-hours-researching-role/
Reportedly, Daniel Day Lewis, who just won another Academy Award for LINCOLN (well-deserved, although I was rooting for Denzel Washington in FLIGHT, and would have nominated James Spader for best actor in a supporting role for LINCOLN), turned down the role of being a claims adjuster in a movie after a half a day of research.
My frustration this week stems from one particular account with one particular vendor attached, and that is all I am going to say. It’s incredibly frustrating because I know, if left alone to do my job, I would be able to make decisions for the best outcome of everyone involved. It’s not that I don’t make mistakes – I do. Everyone does. It’s just so DIFFICULT dealing with parties that – in my mind – don’t seem to understand the larger picture. Fortunately, in this particular job, the management team understands and has my back. I cannot tell you how awesome that is in this industry, as it isn’t always the case.
My boyfriend (whom you will be happy to know is completely committed to his sobriety; our relationship has never been better) and my Sacred Success sisters, whom I connect with every week via e-mail, got an earful about this over the last 24 hours. I was SO irritated, way too much of my brain being taken up by this one account and the attached vendor, I started to question my ability to even teach. Like even a voice lesson. How can one thing make me this crazy?
I was given unconditional love by my boyfriend, and reassurances from my SS sisters, reminding me that we all teach what we need to learn. Trust me, my SS update this week was filled with some F bombs, frustration, questioning my own sanity while dealing with this insanity, etc., etc., etc. I literally wrote, as part of my accomplishments for the week:
Accomplished:
-This blog post:http://laurahandkewishweavers.blogspot.com/,
the titles of several others, and will add meat to another tomorrow.
-Managed to not strangle myself or anyone else today in dealing
with the insanity of (X Employer) and their (Y Vendor).
-Regular Godwalks, which really help me in the non-strangulation
process.
I was also thanked for my sense of humor. J
Then, I started to get some perspective.
1) I always continue to learn. All of us do, all of the time. I will continue in this particular job, dealing with these particular accounts and people, until I learn what I need to learn from them. They are my teachers, my mirrors, helping me move forward to the next level, even when I am so frustrated I want to strangle someone. Perhaps especially when I do! And besides, before I left the office today, I received an e-mail from the rep at that particular account thanking me for my niceness in explaining things she didn’t catch right away, or didn’t know about, and for my very prompt responses.
Can you see the fist pump? J
2) I will trust in the process. I am still in this position and emotional space, hissy fit or no, because there are still things I need to learn. And I was reminded to go back and read these two posts I wrote in 2010 surrounding trust.
http://wishweavers.com/ww/index.php?option=com_letterman&task=view&Itemid=32&id=46
http://wishweavers.com/ww/index.php?option=com_letterman&task=view&Itemid=32&id=47
This particular job came to me at
a very specific time, for a very specific reason, after a very specific crisis
wherein I had asked for a sign.
God knows what it is going on in a way I can’t. As frustrated as I have been this week, I now feel more calm, knowing there is a reason for this, more learning for me, probably more healing for others, and that the higher powers have a plan in place I can’t see from my Earthly perspective.
I trust.
Where can you trust this week?
Authentically Yours, Laura
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