Ask For What You Want
Surely I am not the only person walking around on this planet who has realized asking for what we want can be…really, really hard. Uncomfortable. And about a bazillion other words, but I’ll stick with hard and uncomfortable for now.
I’m not going to delve into why this may be…our familial and social programming…not wanting to hurt another person’s feelings, fear of speaking up on our own behalf because we might be perceived as selfish, etc., etc., etc. The list could go on until the end of time. I’m sure there are many times you have kept your mouth shut, like your lips were duct-taped together, rather than actually asking for what you wanted. Oh, the horror!
The older I get, the more I realize how silly this is. Yet I still experience this silliness at the ripe old age of 48.
I’m writing this post because something occurred to me when my lips were anything but taped together – my mouth was propped wide open at the dentist’s office. I had to have a crown put on – a huge filling put in many years ago was finally wearing out, the tooth was cracking, and I was experiencing sensitivity to temperature.
So, there I was in Dr. Maggie’s office, enduring an hour and a half appointment with a lot of drilling, one of my biggest uncomfortable fear scenarios. (Singing solo in public is another and I really don’t enjoy pap smears.) You know that smell of having your teeth drilled? Do I even have to describe it? I didn’t think so. It’s a smell that makes me want to run to somewhere like…I don’t know…Mars. Maybe Greenland. At the very least, into the restroom or parking lot.
My current dentist does a really good job of keeping that smell, and any pain, at bay. I love my dentist, this clinic, and everyone who works there. When Dr. Maggie was inside the tooth drilling, and I winced, she asked if I could feel it. Well, yes, I could. Apparently this is rather unusual. Most people are totally numbed at this point. She pulled out some rock star formula that was developed in France and goes deeper into the bone. I didn’t feel anything the rest of the procedure. I mean, it still wasn’t fun, but I didn’t have any pain, and didn’t smell a whole lot either.
What an eye-opener! When I went to the dentist as a child and it hurt (the shot hurt, too; albeit needles were much larger then), I just assumed there was something wrong with me, that I shouldn’t have been feeling the painful feelings I was experiencing.
What a gift to have a sensitive dentist so many years later, with much better technology, who presented another option and asked if I felt that when I winced.
Just another lesson in learning to ask for what I want. I encourage you to do the same.
Authentically Yours, Laura