I have mentioned previously the Sacred Success workshop I attended with Barbara Stanny and 16 other women September, 2012. I keep in touch with many of these women; each week we share “upbeat updates” highlighting our accomplishments, gifts received and lessons learned (not necessarily in that order) the previous week.
I was married and step-mother of three boys for over 12 years. Their father and I divorced as the eldest, a Marine, was killed in the war in Iraq at age 21. I still keep in touch with the other two (now 26 and 24) on Facebook from time to time. I shared this in one of my upbeat updates and received a note in response from one of my “Sacred Success Sistahs” that said, among other things, “I bet you were a great step-mom. That's why the kids are still in your life. They don't have to be there, they are choosing you.”
My response was that I thought
for the most part I was a pretty lousy step-mom, but even then I knew I was
doing the best I could with the tools I had at the time. I really did try to
have a positive impact on the boys, and to keep my marriage and our family together.
It's clear now that I did a better job than I thought I did. My intention was
good - and that is just as important as anything else…
I wouldn’t call myself a great step-mom. In fact, at times I recoil from memories of things I am embarrassed about and utterly convinced I would do differently, in retrospect.
Yet what I do know is that I did the best I could at the time in any given moment. That’s all any of us can do. What I believe our parents did as well. And there is nothing more authentic than that. Everybody makes mistakes, takes missteps. If we have a clear and pure intention, the rest will eventually take care of itself.
Always do your best. –Don Miguel Ruiz (One of THE FOUR AGREEMENTS)
Authentically Yours, Laura
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