Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. Embrace it, Change it, Leave it

The Three Step Theory: Embrace it, Change it, Leave it

I can’t say that I created this paradigm; I’m sure if I were to Google I would find hundreds of entries along the same lines. Nothing is new, really; we just re-create different stuff in different formats.

Here is my format for this particular “stuff.”

You’re in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Angry, impatient, sad, anxious, etc. I remember one particular job I had for 2 ½ years beginning in 2007. These were the steps I took then, even though I didn’t necessarily have a name for them at the time.

1) Embrace it.
I am here for a reason. What can I learn from this experience? What am I bringing to this situation? What is my contribution? Is there something I need to change in my thinking or my behavior to make this situation better? What can I do personally to improve here?

Changing our own thinking or behavior can lead to miraculous turnarounds, very quickly.

2) Change it.
I have explored all avenues of my thinking and behavior. I’ve made changes when needed. To improve this situation, I need to communicate. I believe there are suggestions I can make for positive change to others.

You can ask for help when being your best, authentic self hasn’t changed the feelings and experiences you are having surrounding this particular situation.

3) Leave it.
I have done everything I can possibly do. Now, I can leave this situation without any regrets, wondering “What if?”

This is the best three step process I know for any situation that doesn’t sit well with your heart and authentic self. Look at your own contribution first, authentically, honestly, and compassionately. Make changes you need to make. If you need help of others, ask for it. If you then need to leave the situation, with a full blown resonant feeling, do so…respectfully, graciously, with full integrity, knowing you have honored your deepest authentic self and the people who will be impacted by your decision.

The hardest work of all is to do nothing. –Jewish saying

Authentically Yours, Laura

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. I Am Not Impatient

I Am Not Impatient

I wrote in a previous post how important I believe it is to embrace the positive attributes others see in us that we may not see in ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but me – while I can be endlessly patient about the big scheme of life and trust in the guidance I receive – I can think little day to day things simply cannot happen fast enough for my satisfaction. I found myself becoming irritated right now when a lid I was trying to unscrew did not want to unscrew. “I don’t have time for this” mentality.

It reminded me of this time years ago when my ex-husband and I went on a camping trip and stopped at a drive-in to order lunch on the go from a fast food restaurant. We were hungry, the line of cars ahead of us was long, and seemed to be moving slower than it takes those old, unused, abandoned barns in South Dakota to finally fall apart and crumble to the ground.

(I’m guessing here, but I think that could be somewhere around four generations worth of time.) Jeff said, “Don’t be so impatient,” or something along those lines. My response? “I’m NOT impatient. I just hate to wait!”

Thankfully, then I immediately began laughing at myself, and him along with me. What kind of an oxymoronic phrase is that? I’m not impatient; I just hate to wait. Ahem.

You can’t make the bread dough rise any faster. (Unless of course you’re that person who invented quick-rise yeast. If you are that person, I love you and want you to come over so I can hug and kiss you, and feed you tea and bread – if I ever have the time to make it again.)

Impatience is not going to make the line move any faster, certainly not when you’re honking and flipping people the finger bird! (I don’t do that, seriously.)  

Authenticity requires embracing all the positive attributes you possess, along with all your growth areas. We all have them. Probably even the Dalai Lama. Although I don’t expect to be inviting His Holiness over for tea and bread any time soon. (And not just because I would have absolutely no idea what to wear.)

Sometimes I need to remind myself of my three step theory, when in a situation that makes me uncomfortable, impatient, etc. And that is exactly what I will be writing about in the next blog post.

Are you impatient? What growth areas would you like to explore?

There must be more to life than increasing its speed. –Mahatma Ghandi

Authentically Yours, Laura

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. The Indianapolis 500 Cat Marathon

The Indianapolis 500 Cat Marathon

I have been laughing SO much and SO hard the last two weeks. More often and more deeply – at times, almost uncontrollably – than I remember laughing in years. Maybe since I was a kid. I have no idea why (I haven’t been taking any unusual substances, I assure you), but it feels like some joy button that had been on delay mode has been switched on deep inside.  
Authentic laughter is so good for our authentic selves. According to HelpGuide.Org, some of the benefits of laughter include:

• Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
• Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
• Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
• Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

The benefits of laughter are not only emotional, but physical. Plus, laughter is infectious (in a good contagious way) and helps create social harmony and camaraderie.

Many of the things that have had me in stitches, I have not been able to figure out how to write about. They’ve been those “you had to be there” kind of situations.

But here I am attempting to describe what, this morning, had me laughing so hard I was practically screaming when I could get a breath in and out.

My boyfriend and I were in bed trying to get some more shut eye after a late night and an early morning breakfast across town. One of the two cats, Lady, was curled up in bed next to me, snoozing.

From the living room came sounds of the other, Katie, tearing across the carpet from one end of the room to the other, back and forth, moving fast and furious, bumping against the floor board in her turns so you could hear the coiled door stop with rubber cap shamelessly whirring and buzzing like some crazed psychedelic rock musical instrument.

I listened to this go on for quite some time, having thoughts like: “What on Earth has gotten into that cat? Did the big pigeons, or a squirrel, mount the seed feeder again? Frisky with a capital F!! I have got to see this. What if I could get a picture? No, she’d stop the minute I got out of bed and look at me like ‘What’s all the fuss about?’”

So, I just stayed in bed, listening to the cat, and started to giggle. When she eventually stopped, I asked George if he had heard that, and of course he had. I mentioned how the door stop had even been buzzing and he asked, “Is THAT what that was?”  

I said, “That was like the Indianapolis 500,” right about the same time George said, “That was some cat marathon.”

I said, “We have got to come up with a term for this.”

“For what?”

“For that Indianapolis 500 cat marathon thing.”

“That's it, baby. There’s your term. The Indianapolis 500 Cat Marathon.”

At which point I promptly broke into hysterics.

And then Katie sauntered in, calm as a puddle after a rain storm on a hot summer day. “Did you win?” I asked her.

“Oh yes, she did,” said George. “She won first, second, AND third!”

At which point I promptly broke into hysterics again.

Now the cats have nicknames.

 

Katie is Our Little Mazerati.

Lady is known simply as Rolls.

Whether or not you find this story funny, I hope you find something to laugh really, really hard about this week. It’s good for you. J

Authentically Yours, Laura

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. Trusting the Process

Trusting the Process

I am in the middle of a very frustrating week at my day job as I am writing this post. (Which is 2/27/13 – I try and have two or three posts in the hopper before I review and enter any particular blog post for all the world to see. Just so you know. J)

I can’t share many details due to confidentiality issues, nor would I want to for my own personal integrity reasons. What I can say is having a job in workers’ compensation insurance claims is by nature hectic, fast-paced, and often stressful. You deal with people who are injured or sick (once in a while pretending they are injured or sick), their money, employers, their money, doctors, their money, ancillary medical providers, their money, attorneys, their money, just to name a few of the many parties, and their money, attached to any particular claim or employer account.

See this story my manager once forwarded to we adjusters at the office: http://www.thedailyquarterly.com/articles/2011/12/11/daniel-day-lewis-backs-out-of-film-about-insurance-adjuster-after-spending-five-hours-researching-role/

Reportedly, Daniel Day Lewis, who just won another Academy Award for LINCOLN (well-deserved, although I was rooting for Denzel Washington in FLIGHT, and would have nominated James Spader for best actor in a supporting role for LINCOLN), turned down the role of being a claims adjuster in a movie after a half a day of research.

My frustration this week stems from one particular account with one particular vendor attached, and that is all I am going to say. It’s incredibly frustrating because I know, if left alone to do my job, I would be able to make decisions for the best outcome of everyone involved. It’s not that I don’t make mistakes – I do. Everyone does. It’s just so DIFFICULT dealing with parties that – in my mind – don’t seem to understand the larger picture. Fortunately, in this particular job, the management team understands and has my back. I cannot tell you how awesome that is in this industry, as it isn’t always the case.

My boyfriend (whom you will be happy to know is completely committed to his sobriety; our relationship has never been better) and my Sacred Success sisters, whom I connect with every week via e-mail, got an earful about this over the last 24 hours. I was SO irritated, way too much of my brain being taken up by this one account and the attached vendor, I started to question my ability to even teach. Like even a voice lesson. How can one thing make me this crazy?

I was given unconditional love by my boyfriend, and reassurances from my SS sisters, reminding me that we all teach what we need to learn. Trust me, my SS update this week was filled with some F bombs, frustration, questioning my own sanity while dealing with this insanity, etc., etc., etc. I literally wrote, as part of my accomplishments for the week:

Accomplished:

-This blog post:http://laurahandkewishweavers.blogspot.com/, the titles of several others, and will add meat to another tomorrow.

-Managed to not strangle myself or anyone else today in dealing with the insanity of (X Employer) and their (Y Vendor).

-Regular Godwalks, which really help me in the non-strangulation process.

I was also thanked for my sense of humor. J

Then, I started to get some perspective.

1) I always continue to learn. All of us do, all of the time. I will continue in this particular job, dealing with these particular accounts and people, until I learn what I need to learn from them. They are my teachers, my mirrors, helping me move forward to the next level, even when I am so frustrated I want to strangle someone. Perhaps especially when I do! And besides, before I left the office today, I received an e-mail from the rep at that particular account thanking me for my niceness in explaining things she didn’t catch right away, or didn’t know about, and for my very prompt responses.

Can you see the fist pump? J

2) I will trust in the process. I am still in this position and emotional space, hissy fit or no, because there are still things I need to learn. And I was reminded to go back and read these two posts I wrote in 2010 surrounding trust.

http://wishweavers.com/ww/index.php?option=com_letterman&task=view&Itemid=32&id=46

http://wishweavers.com/ww/index.php?option=com_letterman&task=view&Itemid=32&id=47

This particular job came to me at a very specific time, for a very specific reason, after a very specific crisis wherein I had asked for a sign.

God knows what it is going on in a way I can’t. As frustrated as I have been this week, I now feel more calm, knowing there is a reason for this, more learning for me, probably more healing for others, and that the higher powers have a plan in place I can’t see from my Earthly perspective.

I trust.

Where can you trust this week?

Authentically Yours, Laura

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. Create Sacred Space

Create Sacred Space

Certain springs are tapped only when we are alone. –Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I’m writing about sacred space as a follow-up to my post regarding listening to your IVIN, inner voice/intuitive nature. This is relatively easy for me these days, as I live in a condo-style apartment I have lovingly decorated, with two cats I adore, and whom adore me. That’s it, other than the birds coming to the feeders, and people I intentionally invite over.

I typically have sufficient quiet time when I am not at the day job.

This wasn’t always the case. I know what it’s like to have a husband, step-kids who are teenagers (three, all boys!), furry kids, along with working, doing all the regular things to keep your life and household running, feeling like you are running your ass so thin it could break on a band-aid, and you simply want to go outside and scream. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you go to the grocery store and want to fall asleep in the cart and have someone push you. Like off a cliff. Or at least to home and bed while unloading and putting your groceries away for you!

God, do I get that.

Obviously, I did eventually get divorced after trying everything I/we could think of to make the 12 year marriage work. (That is a very long story.) But you may not have to, if you only carve out time to listen to your IVIN.

A very good way to do this is to create your own sacred space. It can be a separate room, a closet, a nook, anywhere you can find that is authentically yours, and yours alone.

 

I have created an altar on the dresser in my bedroom. Some of the items here: Kwan Yin representation. Space-clearing bell. God Can (When I can’t, God Can.) Flower essence aromatherapy. Woven box I picked up on a solo retreat years ago. In it, a large piece of black obsidian, gifted to me by a dear friend. Small piece of branch from when I facilitated a break-out workshop at the HOME Center in Salem. Pendulum. Inspirational calendar and books. A photo of myself, smiling, at approximately age six with a caterpillar on a branch. Medicine bag filled with precious stones and a piece of bark I picked up during a solo trip to the Redwoods of northern California in 2009. Etc.  

 

And here are the oracle card decks I love, on the other dresser in my bedroom. I am quite a believer in cards like this, or anything that encourages you to pause, reflect, perhaps ask a question, and be open to receiving guidance. 

Cheers! to your sacred space, for today, and for always.


You do not need to leave your room.

Remain sitting at your table and listen.

Do not even listen, simply wait,

be quiet still and solitary.

The world will freely offer itself to you to be

unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at

your feet. –Franz Kafka

Authentically Yours, Laura