Sunday, December 4, 2011

How Are You?

After my dad died, my mother had great distain for the question: "How are you," as she pointed out that no one wanted to hear how things really are. As a child, I was always glad she was polite, and never expressed such. As an adult, I can have more empathy for her thoughts, but I've always felt that the question is as open as a face.

Behind the question, what I think they are yearning for is something to enjoy. Could you imagine that the real answer to the question is smiling? Our current world is filled with unknowns, disappointments, dangers, planes-going-into-skyscrapers, and other depressing stuff. If I get eye contact, a smile seems to be the best response. If I don't get eye contact, I make my best vocal impression of Godzilla at work. In three seconds or less, they always look up.

Many times I answer "super" then turn the question back to them. The response is always "fine" or "not bad" to which I raise my left eyebrow, smile brightly at them, and point out that it appears I'm doing better --because super is much better than fine or not bad. Usually they chuckle, and the ice is broken a little more. To pull this off, you'll need to up your Irish when speaking, or you could come off as a prosecuting attorney.

Seamus X Kennedy, Portland, OR

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