How Are You?

How are you? (hahaha)
So, what I think of when someone says that depends on HOW he/she says that!  If, it is offhand and just like a greeting then I wish they would just say "Hi." In those cases I just say "hi" back to them.  I can't tell he/she is not really interested in HOW I am!  But, when a friend or long time unseen acquaintance asks it with eye contact and true interest I soften a bit.  I may not say more than "I'm doing well", or "fine, how are you", but at least its not as off putting as the person who uses it as a greeting! Ugh! That is irritating.  Kind of like Joey on Friends... Very rarely though, will I actually answer the real question, "how are you?" with an honest response.  I would only do that with a very close friend. 

AR, OR

How Are You?

Hi Laura!

There is one lady who has worked here in this building for must be about 30 years, who always responds, “I am here.”   She has answered this way ever since I’ve known her.

I answer differently depending on who asks me.  If somebody I don’t see every day asks me and they are walking down the hall really quick, or they are in upper echelons of administration, I always say “okay” no matter how crappy I feel.  And I usually don’t ask them back how they are.  I’ve always wondered why people ask the question if they don’t want to wait for the answer.  It still feels rude to me even though I know everybody does it.

We have one person who works here that absolutely hates it when people ask him how he is.  He has gone so far to get angry and say well don’t ask me if you don’t want an answer.  And if he does answer, it can go on for quite some time.  I usually just tell him a simple “Good morning”, and that seems to suffice.  He can answer back or not, depending on what he feels like.

But when my coworker asks in the morning, I know I can tell her the truth.  I am not a morning person, so I try to not drag it out much but she doesn’t usually get an “okay”.  I ask her back and usually I get a short story about the birds in her yard or how her garden is or her dogs.  She definitely is a morning person and usually feels pretty good.

The kids usually answer on a scale of 1 to 10, especially during football season.

Do you ever get the feeling that when family you haven’t seen for a while asks you how you are, and you are single, that they are really asking if you have anybody special in your life? AS, Brookings, SD

How Are You?

Laura - how about - "Becoming more fully individuated every day!"
(Hoping that's not too "inflated.") :) -JL, OR

How Are You?

First response I thought of was "I'm tired"!  Lame I know!  :(

Blessings to you! LC, Beaverton, OR

How Are You?

I say, "Sometimes I'm better, and sometimes I am worse."  "How are you?" And I really wait for the answer.

Do you answer?

Cheers! PD, Salem, OR

How Are You?

After my dad died, my mother had great distain for the question: "How are you," as she pointed out that no one wanted to hear how things really are. As a child, I was always glad she was polite, and never expressed such. As an adult, I can have more empathy for her thoughts, but I've always felt that the question is as open as a face.

Behind the question, what I think they are yearning for is something to enjoy. Could you imagine that the real answer to the question is smiling? Our current world is filled with unknowns, disappointments, dangers, planes-going-into-skyscrapers, and other depressing stuff. If I get eye contact, a smile seems to be the best response. If I don't get eye contact, I make my best vocal impression of Godzilla at work. In three seconds or less, they always look up.

Many times I answer "super" then turn the question back to them. The response is always "fine" or "not bad" to which I raise my left eyebrow, smile brightly at them, and point out that it appears I'm doing better --because super is much better than fine or not bad. Usually they chuckle, and the ice is broken a little more. To pull this off, you'll need to up your Irish when speaking, or you could come off as a prosecuting attorney.

Seamus X Kennedy, Portland, OR