Sunday, November 3, 2013

Simply Authentic...Your Soul Voice is Calling. The Worst Decision I've Ever Made

The Worst Decision I’ve Ever Made

You may have noticed my last entry was over 90% quoting Dr. Phil. Not only did I admire what he wrote, and how he wrote it, but I paid close attention to what he said about a “decision audit” -- truthfully recognizing whether or not important life decisions had been based on desire or fear. 

A huge part of authenticity is becoming clear about our motivations. We have all said and done things we regret. We’ve all made choices that weren’t in the highest interest of humanity or our planet or even a close personal relationship. Or especially ourselves.

Rather, what I am talking about here is a decision that completely alters the trajectory of your future, and it’s only later – looking back – you just want to smack yourself alongside the head (and maybe you do) and go WTF WAS I THINKING?

Some who know me well may think my worst decision has to do with my divorce…or my marriage. It doesn’t.  I don’t regret my over 12 year marriage, nor do I regret my divorce. I learned to become a better partner by being married to Jeff, and when we had done everything we could to keep our relationship intact and couldn’t – we both knew. As for those of you who know about the one time I was pulled into the police station and finger-printed – suffice to say I never again had too much wine and not enough Chinese food at a hot-tub party and tried to drive home, really slowly. Really super stupendously bad idea back in 1997.

No, the decision I am talking about was a decade earlier, 1987, Phoenix, Arizona. I was fresh out of college and after 3 ½ months left my first professional job as a placement counselor for temporary employees at a company called Pro-Tem. (I met my best friend at that job, which makes it an enormous blessing.) I enjoyed placing temps in jobs (remind me to tell you the story about actor Patrick Duffy’s home construction job; that was a hoot) but the office was so slow I would sometimes do my nails because there was nothing else to do. So they sent me out to market for them. Cold calling and me were SO not a good fit.

I had an interview with a start-up cosmetics company – cosmetics meaning the little bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, etc. for hotels and the like. The atmosphere in this warehouse type building on the industrial side of town was charged – everyone in that office was jazzed about what they were doing. I vibrated around these people. And they assured me the receptionist job was only a starting point. They wanted people to grow with the company. They were filling the receptionist position because the last one had been promoted. I wish I could remember the name of the company to see whatever happened with them. It would not surprise me, at all, if I am to this day using their bottled products whenever I am in a hotel room, and they have expanded to a line of spas or something like that.  

I had interviewed at a bank around the same time. The bank receptionist position paid $100 more per month. I held off on giving an answer to the cosmetics company, who had offered me the job, until I heard from the bank that I had been hired.

For $100 more a month.

Looking back, I realize that while that tiny amount of extra money per month felt like security at the time, I went against my gut feeling and the energy I felt around those people and in that environment.

Perhaps in a parallel universe I was a part of that company’s and my personal success. From where I am sitting here, it feels like the biggest mistake I ever made. I ended up working in banking (at three different banks) until I moved away from Arizona in 1990, and didn’t truly enjoy any of the banking jobs, while I made the most of all of them and met some wonderful people.

I rarely express regret because I truthfully rarely experience it. My friend Quinton (God bless his soul on the other side) once said that I am an unflappable optimist.

But I wish I had taken the job with the cosmetics company.

I’m sharing this story because Dr. Phil got me thinking, and I believe it’s best to make decisions based on that energized and “right” feeling, rather than the illusion of security which is really only that – an illusion.

Here’s to releasing the F word of fear, and going with the authentic desires of the heart and soul!

Authentically Yours,

Laura

No comments:

Post a Comment