Sunday, August 25, 2013

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. The Art of Discipline

The Art of Discipline

I’ve been reflecting recently on discipline in regards to living an authentic life.

I suspect pretty much no-one is going to live the life they truly want in their heart without dedication and consistency. Even Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones was consistent about showing up on stage for every gig, even if someone else had to drag him out there and stick the guitar in his hands. (I read that a while back in Rolling Stone Magazine.)

I think I came out of the birth canal disciplined. If I could have cleaned my own diapers, I would have. My home gets cleaned every week whether it needs it or not, meaning it never needs any more cleaning than has already happened…unless there's some odd thing. Like a big pickle making thing or having people over for dinner thing. Which really isn’t that odd, now that I think about it.

I also always know my bank account balances and what it is my kitchen. As I am running out of something in the pantry, I write it down on the grocery list. I have never, in my entire life, ever run out of toilet paper.

I am disciplined, and structure in pretty much everything around my day job. Yet it's very clear to me my dietary habits are something I don't want to be disciplined about. I have this list of suggested changes from my naturopathic physician, after keeping a food diary for a week.

Really? No cheese? Seriously, my love affair with Chardonnay? Cigs are gone. But I miss them too, from time to time. I love peanut butter but did buy a jar of almond butter. Okay, it’s good. But it’s still not the same! Almond milk for the rest of my life? Tomatoes are one of my favorite things and there are tons in the garden!!!!! Are you kidding me in regards to the citrus fruits??!! OMG!

I am being so dramatic. Dr. C assured me that I can try taking dairy out of my diet, etc., and see what happens. It doesn't mean I can never have a slab of medium cheddar again as long as I live. However, my digestive system might be better able to take on a piece of say, aged, white cheddar...which I have fallen in love with lately....instead of softer cheeses…and that grapefruit is not something I need to say goodbye to forever.

Sigh.

I have decided to take most of the recommendations on a little at a time…slowly. So it doesn’t seem so dramatic. Acupuncture, for the first time in my life – I’m digging on it so far, after two treatments. Some thought re-arranging will be needed, and great self love.

Here’s to the discipline of great self love!

Authentically Yours,

Laura

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. Just Be You

Just Be You

As I was cleaning the bathroom floor just now, on my hands and knees, I began having an imaginary conservation in my mind, as we all do from time to time, with a close family member. (Hopefully you are having a mental conversation with your own close family member and not mine. I might be fearful otherwise.)

The question in my imagination (which probably never would have been asked anyway) was something like this. “Why aren’t you going to organize that lunch we talked about?  Who is going to do it if you don’t?” It could equally have been, “You’re not going? But you said you would.”

No matter the myriad of questions that could have been posed in my mind, the response was this:

I have spent far too much of my life trying to structure myself and activities around what I thought other people wanted or needed from me.

As it turns out, what I thought they needed or wanted from me wasn’t it at all.

They just needed me to be me.  

Authentically Yours,

Laura

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. Authenticity and Body Image

Authenticity and Body Image

It’s only in my 40’s I’ve realized I have had a negatively distorted body image for basically my entire adult life. I look back at photos of my 20 something self in a two piece – if not necessarily “bikini” – swimsuit and wonder what on earth I was worried about.  

It’s true we are all bombarded with media images of beautiful women in Hollywood who work out a lot and have personal trainers (I recently read that Gywneth Paltrow works out for two hours every day and hates it, but considers it part of her job) and have Botox injections and cosmetic surgery, etc.

I like looking at these beautiful women too, okay? Just for one example, I am amazed by Cher. Who clearly has a really good surgeon and takes very good care of her body.



I am equally amazed by Annette Bening, whom some may say snagged the perennial bachelor (Warren Beatty), has probably had no facial surgery, and looks just as beautiful with lines on her face and takes very good care of her body.




My breasts were very small as I was coming into womanhood. Looking in the shower or bath from the age of 13 through like 19, I kept wondering if I would EVER get breasts that amounted to anything. Around the age of 21 (I must say my breast size was never an issue in my sex life – it only was in my own mind), I simply accepted my small breasts. It never occurred to me to have an augmentation. In my 30’s, I finally found a bra size, Nearly A, that actually fit right! I was thrilled! Bought two of those comfortable bras with no underwire before the line was discontinued and essentially wore them out.



Guess what? My breasts are a bit bigger now that I’m getting closer to 50. And I love them! But so is my waistline and my belly! And I don’t love that so much. So go figure…



I am seeing a naturopath about the weight gain and GI digestive issues (so this isn’t totally vanity!) and have a more nutritional path to follow. Yet I still haven’t quite figured out how to love my body exactly as it is in any given moment. I’m pretty sure it’s not about learning something, rather about releasing something.

In the meantime, here’s to an awesome Godwalk!

Authentically Yours,

Laura

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Simply Authentic...your soul voice is calling. Trust Your Own Emotional Compass

Trust Your Own Emotional Compass

I was playing my keyboard and singing when a memory came flooding over me and I sat down and wrote this post.  

It was Christmas at my family home. A lot of relatives were over for the festivities. I was in my bedroom playing the piano and singing Christmas music. One I chose was STAR OF THE EAST. I was having a very good time playing the piano and singing that song. If I remember correctly (my memory is a little sketchy here), other relatives were singing with me.

Uncle Steve rushed in (this part I remember for sure) and asked me to play it again because (this part I don’t remember for sure) one of the older female relatives – could have been my maternal grandma, or great-aunt – really liked that song.

So, I started playing it again.

Then another relative came in and asked me to stop playing it because X older female relative was in tears.

Obviously, Uncle Steve and whoever the other relative was interpreted X older female’s emotional reaction in very different ways. Based, no doubt, on their own emotional responses not only to the music, but how they felt being around someone who was crying. I did later learn that STAR OF THE EAST was this relative’s deceased mother’s favorite Christmas hymn.  So, it brought about some emotion.

The moral of this story, if there is one…? Trust your own internal, emotional compass.

I was a teenager when this happened, and not all that integrated with my own emotions.

I suppose if I were to go back and do it differently, knowing what I know now, I would simply shut the lid to the piano and walk over to either my grandma or great-aunt, and ask her if she wanted me to play the song again. I would take her hands, if she wanted them to be taken. If she wanted to cry and other people were uncomfortable with that, perhaps, I could whisperingly ask if she wanted to step into the laundry room or outside for a moment.

In which case she could weep to her heart’s content on my shoulder and and / or tell me (if she wanted to) what memories that song brought up about her mother. I suspect they were very good ones, and that she missed her mom.

I don’t think of this as a coulda, woulda, shoulda thing. That was a long time ago.

I just wanted to write about the memory when it swept over me…as it’s an awesome reminder to trust your internal, emotional compass. Therein, authenticity lies.

Trust yourself, then you will know how to live. –Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Authentically Yours, Laura